


I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone

by LightningZBolt



Category: Bring Me The Horizon, Sleeping With Sirens
Genre: Anal Fingering, Cell Phones, Established Relationship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Masturbation, Mental Anguish, Texting, Urination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 02:33:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21639964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightningZBolt/pseuds/LightningZBolt
Summary: Oliver's mental state falters and he loses nights worth of sleep over stressing out from getting hundreds of texts from Kellin. He slowly falls into depression where he is unable to respond to him for days and the longer he waits the worse it gets, so bad that he needs his brother to help break him out of it.
Relationships: Kellin Quinn/Oliver Sykes
Kudos: 10





	I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone

**Author's Note:**

> After spending nearly a month on one story, I write a longer one in just a day. Woo. Also non-fetish piss.
> 
> It's really fun to write long distance stuff.

The distinct sound of his phone vibrating from a new text for what feels like the hundredth time tonight makes him unable to keep his eyes shut, and it’s just barely midnight. Oliver groans at his sleeplessness and he debates on just turning off his phone, but he fears something happening if he does so his paranoia forces him to do nothing. The third night in a row he’s unable to sleep very well, constantly waking up and laying in bed with his mind racing.

His phone vibrates again and in frustration, he looks at the message this time, it’s from Kellin, as have been the last, five hundred? Kellin sends a lot of texts. This isn’t a bad thing technically, but Oliver has been stuck in not knowing how to respond for two days now, and the longer he spends not sending any replies, the harder it gets. Long distance relationships are not something he’s used to, and he’s even less used to being in a relationship with someone who loves him unconditionally. It feels...weird. Not basd, just weird. He feels as if he’s undeserved, he’s not that special.

Another text, does Kellin ever sleep? Well, he is in another country and time zone, so it’s probably not that late for him yet. He should really be more considerate. Not like Oliver taught him about the time difference or anything, but he should just know this stuff, he’s not new to traveling. Oliver isn’t even reading them, his eyes hurt too much. He puts his phone under his pillow and tried to force himself to get at least a little sleep.

~~~~~

Oliver wakes up again to his phone, he checks the clock, he’s only slept for like an hour. Great, this plan is going well. Kellin’s latest text resonates in his mind.

_Kellin: i don’t think you’ve ever told me your favorite color?_

Not because of his question or because Kellin doesn’t remember his favourite colour, but because of how he spells favourite and colour. He’s not inclined to answer and the thought of doing so at all majorly stresses him out, and he isn’t sure why. He puts his phone back under his pillow and tries to ignore it and forces himself back to sleep.

~~~~~

Two more hours this time, that’s more than enough sleep to function, right? They were non-consecutive hours, separated by an hour of staring blankly at the wall in the dark. Kellin’s messages have not stopped, however they have slowed down. Maybe it’s finally getting late in his country. Oliver sits up in bed and holds his arms over his eyes, he feels like he has a migraine. He can’t tell if it’s from the lack of sleep, the screen of his phone burning into his eyeballs, or Kellin constantly sending him shit.

With a deep yawn, Oliver groans at the pain it causes him. That has to be from lack of sleep, his body isn’t very happy with him. As much as he wants to just sit there and berate himself for how much of a useless human being he is, he’s thirsty, and he has to pee, so he just gets up from bed. He yawns again as he slowly walks to his bedroom door. The only light he has is from the stars and moon outside shining through his curtains, it’s just enough for him to find his way to the bathroom. He keeps his phone clutched tightly in his hand.

He feels like he’s in slow motion, he hasn’t felt this devoid of energy since several months ago when he was sick with a stomach bug. It was incredibly hard for him to get his body to do anything he wanted, and it hurt the whole way. This isn’t quite as bad as that, he’s not puking and shitting his guts out, just very tired. Tired enough that he unintentionally gets some piss on his hand from not paying attention to where he’s aiming.

With a sigh, he flushes the toilet and turns to the sink, setting his phone on the corner, and washes his hands. He finishes by washing his face and staring into the mirror. He looks like a zombie, bags under his bloodshot eyes, he hasn’t shaved in a few days either and as a result his skin feels scratchy. He should probably shower or at least get dressed in something else, he’s been wearing the same outfit for two days straight now, and it’s starting to stink from sweat. He just can’t bring himself to do anything that takes that much effort.

Oliver picks his phone back up and leaves the bathroom, yawning again. The yawn causes his eyes to water. He walks downstairs slowly, sliding his arm down the banister to keep himself upright. He goes to the kitchen and stops at the fridge, opening it up and staring inside. His memory fails him as he forgot what he came down here for. His stomach is somewhat empty, he last ate several hours ago, but his appetite is lost on him.

His phone vibrating in his hand brings him back to reality, he had zoned out staring at the leftover pizza from the other night when Mat and Jordan visited. As tempting as it is to eat it for ‘breakfast’, his stomach is craving something milder. He’s also tempted to get himself drunk and numb his brain, but he’s better than that. He instead reaches for a bottle of water and closes the fridge. It was open long enough that his body feels chilled.

He holds the bottle of water under his arm and takes it, and his phone, with him to the couch in the other room and sits down. He breaks the seal on the water bottle and sips from it. The water feels nice and washes out the taste of sleeplessness, if that makes sense. He glances at his phone in his other hand.

_Kellin: i swore i just saw a mouse in the other room...i’m thinking of adopting a cat to help with that, what do you think?_

Oliver shakes his head. He still has no idea what to respond to any of Kellin’s countless texts. He grabs the TV remote from nearby and turns the TV in front of him on. It’s the middle of the night so all the channels are filled with rubbish. He mindlessly flips through channels, only partly focused on them. Another part of his focus is on his phone, and the rest of his focus is on nothing in particular. His own brain, his mind feels fuzzy and full of static. He feels as though if it was possible to broadcast sound directly from someone’s brain, his would sound like white noise.

His focus fades in and out over time while he continues mindlessly flipping through channels and drinking water. The sound of his phone vibrating is starting to sound more like background noise, it’s oddly soothing in a way…

~~~~~

Oliver’s eyes snap open at the sound of someone knocking, loudly, on his front door. He jumps up in a panic and grabs the nearest blunt object he can find, a closed umbrella, and springs into action. He glares at the front door as it begins to open. “Back off, mate, I’ll wreck your shit!” He swings for the figure that walks into the room, only to hesitate and stop when he realizes who it is, causing the umbrella to only lightly bump against his side.

“The fuck’s your problem?” His brother questions. “Ain’t you usually asleep at this time anyway?”

“I couldn’t sleep, so piss off.” Oliver answers. He pulls back the umbrella and goes to hit him with it again.

Tom grabs the umbrella with his hand. “Oh no you don’t.” He pulls it out of Oliver’s hand. “I’m confiscating this, you’ve lost your umbrella privileges.”

Oliver groans. “Why are you here.” He says like a statement, rather than a question.

“To discuss the wondrous world of...business expenses!” Tom explains, holding up a yellow folder.

Oliver groans loudly.

“Yeah I know, it sucks, but I’m not expecting much from you.” Tom says.

“Why are you here so early in the morning? It’s still dark out.” Oliver questions.

“I was just gonna crash on your couch until you woke up.” Tom says. “But since you’re awake now, we can do this a lot faster.”

“Why not, I don’t know, fucking TEXT OR CALL me first, not just barge right into my house.”

“I have a key.”

“That doesn’t give you permission to just come inside whenever you want.”

“I’m sure you tell that to Kellin too every time you two fuck.” Tom jokes.

Oliver’s sleepiness makes him not understand the joke at first. When his brain finally catches on, he leers at his brother.

“You look like shite.” Tom remarks.

“Thanks, couldn’t have been at least a little nice about it?” Oliver complains.

“Are you sick or something?”

Oliver debates responding ‘yeah, sick in the head’ but he just shakes his head instead.

“You must be, cause I doubt you willingly turned the telly to a church sermon.” Tom remarks, walking to the couch.

Oliver tilts his head in confusion. He walks over to stare at the TV and indeed, Tom wasn’t lying. Those two words, ‘church sermon’ resonate in Oliver’s head and make him feel like retching. He reaches for the remote on the couch and quickly changes the channel to anything else. A car race? Sure, whatever. He tosses the remote back on the couch.

“What’s got you awake for then, huh?” Tom asks, sitting on the couch.

Oliver slumps on the couch next to him and is sidetracked by his phone screen lighting up in his hand.

_Kellin: do you prefer coffee or tea?_  
_Kellin: i know it’s a british stereotype, but i don’t wanna just guess._

Oliver never honestly thought about that before. He’s not that huge on either one. He likes coffee when he’s far from home and needs to wake up to get something done, and he likes tea to relax with then he’s home and has nothing to do.

“Earth to Oli, this is Tom speaking, get focused goddamnit.” Tom says loudly, catching Oliver’s attention.

“Huh?” Oliver questions. “What did you say?”

“The fuck is wrong with you? You’ve been staring at your phone in a daze since you sat down.”

“Sorry.” Oliver apologizes, not answering the question. “What did you say?”

“Where do you keep all the legal shit for Drop Dead?” Tom asks.

“In the desk over...there?” Oliver points his hand towards a random point in the room. He doesn’t remember.

“You mean in the corner of the room?”

“Uhh, yes?”

Tom shrugs and gets up.

Oliver stares back at his phone again.

_Kellin: what do you usually wear to bed?_  
_Kellin: for me personally, it depends on how my day went._

Oliver thinks about the question. Currently he’s been wearing a t-shirt, trousers, boxers, and socks for two days straight, awake and asleep Normally he takes off his socks when he sleeps, and sometimes his pants too, but he’s too drained to want to put them back on so he just keeps them on when he sleeps. It makes him more uncomfortable and sweaty but that somehow feels deserved.

_Kellin: normally i just wear my underwear to bed, but if it’s really cold, i might wear more._

The thought of Kellin in his underwear distracts Oliver even from his phone. Now it’s all his mind can think of. That focus is broken quickly though from a splash of cold water on him that freaks him out. “Hey!”

“You spaced out again so I figured that would get your attention good.” Tom remarks, sitting next to him again, holding up an empty glass.

Oliver shakes the water off his arm and groans.

“You still have yet to answer my question.”

“Piss off.” Oliver complains. He holds a middle finger up to his brother and keeps it there.

“Now that’s not very nice.” Tom touches Oliver’s hand and makes him lower it. “You should learn to be nicer.”

Oliver’s focus on his brother’s words are once again lost.

_Kellin: do you sleep better on your back, side, or stomach?_

Oliver thinks, he woke up on his stomach earlier, but he usually falls asleep on his side, facing the wall.

“Mate, you’ve had your eyes fixated on your phone pretty since I walked in.” Tom says. “Mind telling me why the hell?”

“None of your goddamn business.” Oliver remarks.

“While I’d normally agree, I feel concern for your mental state.” Tom says in a serious tone. “You haven’t acted this funny since your addiction.”

“What, you think I’m on drugs?” Oliver questions, glaring at his brother.

“Or alcoholic, or something.” Tom says. “Look, I’m just concerned and I wanna make sure nothing bad is going on.”

Oliver’s glare fades and turns into a frown. “I got a lot going on in my head, Tom.”

“Does it have anything to do with your phone?”

“Not the phone itself so much as what’s on it.”

“It’s Kellin, right? Are things going badly?”

“No, things are fine, it’s not him, it’s me.” Oliver says.

“Not very helpful. Tell me more.” Tom demands.

Oliver sighs. “It is RELATED to him, but it’s not his fault. He’s been texting me nearly-nonstop for the past few days.”

“Okay? How is that a bad thing?”

“I haven’t responded to him for over two days now.”

“Why, exactly?”

“I don’t know…” Oliver glances over at his phone.

_Kellin: i can’t remember when i last washed my pillowcase…_

“He’s just been texting me random questions, telling me about his day, and really just whatever comes to his mind.” Oliver explains. “I just don’t know what to say. I feel...overwhelmed…”

“Overwhelmed by what exactly?” Tom asks.

“By all of his...interest in me, attention, affection…” Oliver adds.

“Oh no, it must suck being LOVED by someone.” Tom reacts with a bitter tone. “Your life is just SO hard, you get constant messages of AFFECTION and ATTENTION from someone who truly and deeply CARES about you. How awful.”

“Shut up, Tom. My issue isn’t that he cares about me, it’s just that I don’t know how to handle it.”

“Well if it was ME who was being lavished in love, which it never would be because no one loves me, I would make sure to tell them how much I appreciate it even if I don’t quite know the words to say.” Tom says.

“I can’t.” Oliver says.

“Why? Is someone physically holding you back from responding?” Tom asks.

“No, I just, my nerves are holding me back.” Oliver says. “I’m not used to someone being so affectionate and attention giving, I’m still getting a grip on this whole ‘being gay’ thing, I feel like I don’t deserve the attention, it’s overwhelming, It just stresses me out and makes me feel half-sick.”

“So you’re stressed out from too much love and attention?” Tom asks.

“Yes, it’s too much for me. I can’t bring myself to even respond as I get afraid and just give up.”

“You’re the most anti-social person I know.” Tom remarks. “Rather, you’re like a cat, you retreat and run away the second anyone gives you more than five seconds of attention.”

“I don’t deserve all this affection. I’m not that special.” Oliver says.

“You do and you are, don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“It’s what I deserve.”

Tom shakes his head. He observes Oliver staring at his phone and sighing. Oliver doesn’t even attempt to respond to Kellin, he just acts sad. “Wouldn’t Kellin be concerned for you by now from your lack of response?”

“He is, he’s started being concerned almost as soon as I stopped responding two days ago.” Oliver explains. “That just makes it harder for me to say anything, as every time I see him express concern, I just wanna cry.”

Tom sighs. He doesn’t really know how to push his brother into just making things better, he’s not great at mental stuff, but he also hates seeing him so miserable, even if it’s self-inflicted misery, it’s still hard to watch. He debates on just grabbing Oliver’s phone and breaking the ice by responding to Kellin for him so he has no choice but to continue, but that could also have an adverse effect and cause him to retreat even more into his own head.

Oliver stares at his phone with a frown.

_Kellin: it’s been officially over two days now since you’ve last responded to me. I hope everything is okay. :(_

Oliver sighs deeply and closes his eyes in shame. A few tears drip from his eyes onto his phone.

Tom’s hands twitch at the strong desire to just steal his brother’s phone from him, but he clenches them into fists to calm himself down.

Oliver wipes the tears off his phone screen with his shirt and puts it aside, still holding onto it tightly however. “How can I feel so broken from being loved, Tom?”

“Do you feel broken from my love?” Tom asks. “Family love, before your stupid tired brain gets the wrong idea.”

“No.” Oliver says. “But your affection isn’t overwhelming, it’s just implied.”

“Oh I’ll overwhelm you with love alright!” Tom grabs Oliver in a hug and squeezes him. “Feel the love!”

“Stop stop stop!” Oliver whines. He fidgets and tries to wiggle out of his brother’s grip, but he doesn’t accomplish anything.

“Just pretend I’m Kellin, this is something he’d do, right?” Tom questions.

“Yes, but he’d also be grabbing my junk and kissing me, he’d also be a lot less strong.”

“Oh okay, I just gotta grab your crotch, huh? Will that get you to wake up properly?”

“Don’t you fucking DARE!”

Tom slowly reaches his hand towards Oliver’s crotch. He stops just to throw Oliver off, and then grabs and squeezes the slight bulge in his trousers.

Oliver grabs Tom’s arms tightly and in one quick movement, pulls him off and tosses him onto the floor in front of the couch they’re on. “Cunt!”

Tom laughs, not really caring that he was just tossed onto the floor. “That was hilarious! Haha, you should do it again!”

Oliver glares at Tom with a furious expression. If he wasn’t so low on energy, he’d punch Tom right in the fucking ribs.

Tom gets up from the floor. “Are you over being sad now?”

“What?” Oliver questions.

“Are you done being so sad and hard on yourself?” Tom adds.

“I… You just groped me!”

“Yeah well I’m not proud of it, desperate times call for desperate measures you know, and I couldn’t stand seeing you crying.”

“You’d rather see me angry?”

“You being angry at ME means you’re not being angry at yourself.” Tom explains.

Oliver stares down at the floor with an annoyed expression. His brother’s logic is sound, even if his approach to the matter was awkward and uncomfortable. He glances back up at him. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, it was my pleasure to grope your junk.” Tom smirks.

Oliver rolls his eyes. He glances over to his phone as the screen lights up.

_Kellin: i’m getting really tired, but i was hoping you’d send me a message before i fall asleep. doesn’t seem to be happening. :(_

Oliver feels a tinge of regret. “I can’t.”

“You can’t what?”

“I can’t do it.” Oliver gets up from the couch and leaves his phone behind.

“Yes you can, don’t make me touch you again.” Tom threatens in a joking tone, but Oliver’s somber expression makes him feel sad.

“I can’t.” Oliver starts to walk away, but he turns back to grab his phone before leaving for upstairs. He can’t respond, but he can’t leave the phone behind anyway.

Tom shakes his head. He goes to follow his brother upstairs, but he stops when the bathroom door closes in his face. He sighs and walks back downstairs to wait.

Oliver stares at his phone and frowns. He sets it down on the side of the sink so he can pull his pants down and sit on the toilet. He picks his phone back up and stares at the last text kellin sent. The words resonate in his mind, but he just can’t bring himself to respond. He WANTS to, not like he enjoys ignoring Kellin for so long, but his guts just won’t let him.

His phone vibrates and it catches him off guard to the point where he drops his phone on the bathroom rug by his feet. He tries to focus his eyes on the latest text.

_Kellin: i need to go grocery shopping soon, i’m running out of milk._

Oliver sighs and hangs his head back. From the serious to the mundane, Kellin’s thought process will never fail to perplex him.

~~~~~

Oliver walks back downstairs, his focus still on his phone. Kellin hasn’t sent another text since the one that startled him, but he’s unpredictable. He glances at his brother in the kitchen watching him and eating from a snack bag.

Tom waves with a smile. “Feeling any better?”

Oliver shakes his head. “Not mentally.”

Tom’s smile fades. “Not even a little bit?”

“I feel worse and worse the more time passes without me responding. It’s like every second is stabbing me in the heart.” Oliver says.

“Wow. That is really really emo.” Tom remarks.

Oliver leers at him.

“But, it’s also indicative of you worrying too much about the passage of time.”

“What if I DO respond and he’s stopped caring, huh?”

“Given what I know about Kellin, which admittedly isn’t a ton, I don’t think he’d be the type to just up and stop caring about you just for you not responding to him.” Tom says. “If anything, I’m sure that the second you say anything to him, all of his worry will just go away and he’ll be fine.”

Oliver sighs. “I don’t know.” He keeps his eyes fixated on his phone as he walks back to the couch. His lack of focus on his surroundings causes him to stub his toe on the couch before he can sit down. “Fuck!” He exclaims.

Tom rolls his eyes. His brother really is a piece of work. “Are you just gonna continue to be miserable all morning? How long are you gonna go not sleeping or eating or showering?”

“How do you know I haven’t done any of those things?” Oliver questions.

“Easy, you look like shite, you stink like sweat and tears, and that leftover pizza in the fridge hasn’t been touched in days. That’s uncharacteristic of you.” Tom explains.

“How did you figure all that out?”

“I’m your brother, I know everything about you, the good, the bad, and disgusting.” Tom says.

“If you know me so well, then what boxers am I wearing right now?” Oliver asks.

“Probably matching your socks, so I’m gonna go with Sonic.” Tom says.

“Damn.” Oliver exclaims. “You’re right.”

“Of course I am.” Tom says.

Oliver leans back on the couch and scrolls through Kellin’s messages on his phone. There’s just so many he wouldn’t even know where to start. Even worse, he just got a new one. He scrolls back down to see it.

_Kellin: what do you usually eat before bed? if you’re hungry, that is._

That would depend on a lot of factors. Currently, nothing. The thought of eating makes his stomach hurt.

“Well while you were in the bathroom, I finished what I needed to.” Tom says.

“What?” Oliver asks, confused. “Finished what?”

“Expenses?”

“Oh, right.”

“Soooo… I don’t need anything here anymore.” Tom says. “I can go home and leave you be.”

“Oh. Okay.” Oliver says flatly.

“Do you need anything before I go?”

Oliver hesitates before saying “No” without breaking his focus from his phone.

“Alright then.” Tom walks around the couch to pretend to leave. He’s not actually gonna do that, but Oliver isn’t paying attention. “Goodby-”

“Wait, don’t go.” Oliver speaks up. “I don’t wanna be alone like this.” He adds. “I don’t wanna keep doing this for days on end and continue suffering. I’m gonna drive myself right into my own grave if I keep it up.”

“How do you want me to help you?” Tom asks.

“Just make me do it.” Oliver says. “Force me to respond to him by any means necessary. Make me have to deal with it, cause I’m gonna lose it if I don’t.”

“So like what, I grab your hands and do it for you?” Tom asks.

“No.” Oliver says. “Also, that sounds disturbing out of context.”

“Got it, I’ll jerk you off with your own hands.” Tom jokes.

“Goddamnit Tom!” Oliver exclaims.

“Kidding, but what do you think about me sending Kellin a text from your phone so you have no choice but to keep going?” Tom asks.

“Yeah, yeah that sounds good.” Oliver says. “Please do that.”

“Wow, I get a whole ‘please’? You really are desperate.”

Oliver groans. “Just do it.” He hands Tom his phone.

Tom sends Kellin a simple _‘sorry’_ text and hands the phone back. “See, easy.”

“One word?”

“That’s all it takes.”

Oliver’s phone vibrates with a response.

_Kellin: don’t be sorry, i’m just glad you’re okay~ <333_

Oliver can’t help but crack a smile. A single word and Kellin is already fine, just like his brother said. He finds it easy to form his own response now.

_Oliver: just been stressed out. i’m fine now._

He hopes that kellin doesn’t expect more details.

_Kellin: me too, i was worried about you._  
_Kellin: but i feel better now that you’re here~ <33_

Oliver: me too.

“Okay think I’m gonna go now before you start exchanging dick pics or something.” Tom says. “Your creepy smile at your phone is getting hard to look at.”

Oliver glances over to his brother. “Before you do that.”

“Hmm?”

Oliver gets up from the couch and embraces his brother in a hug. “Thanks. Thanks for helping me get out of my slump, even if your methods are, odd.”

“I hate seeing you suffering, so I just had to, you know?” Tom says, hugging back.

“One more thing.” Oliver opens the camera on his phone and holds it out. “I wanna get you part of this.”

“Why, exactly.” Tom exclaims. He smiles for the camera anyway.

Oliver gets both of them in frame and takes a picture. “Just so I can show Kellin you’ve been here helping me.”

Tom takes Oliver’s phone and glares at the picture he took. “It’s all blurry and angled and just, ugh, your selfie technique has a lot to be desired.”

“So what? It’s just a shitty phone picture, nothing serious.”

“You could get excellent results from even a ‘shittty phone picture’, your hands are shaky, use a tripod instead. I guarantee just that one little change would improve a lot.” Tom criticizes.

“I didn’t know it bothered you that much.” Oliver says.

“It does, it really does.” Tom says. “You can’t just expect me to not say anything about PHOTOGRAPHY. Een just could have asked me to take the selfie and it would have been better.”

“Alright then, help me take a good dick pic for Kellin.” Oliver hands his phone to Tom.

“What.”

“It’ll be quick, I promise.” Oliver grabs onto his waistband.

Tom quickly hands back Oliver’s phone and grabs his folder of papers off the couch. “Okay goodbye.” He walks to the front door quickly. “I’m taking this too.” He takes the folded umbrella with him and leaves.

Oliver chuckles to himself. He sits back down and responds to Kellin.

_Oliver: sorry, my brother was here. he just left_

He attached the picture he took of them together.

_Oliver: he criticized my ‘selfie skills’_

_Kellin: oh yeah he’s a photographer right?_  
_Kellin: cute tho :)_  
_Kellin: but you look tired._

_Oliver: i am tired… haven’t slept well_

_Kellin: me either_  
_Kellin: kept worrying about you :(_  
_Kellin: i kept myself sane by talking to you as if you were still there the whole time_

_Oliver: blue, depends on the situation which drink i prefer, sleep mostly in my underwear too and on my side._

_Kellin: you remembered all those questions?_

_Oliver: of course, just cause i didn’t respond didn’t mean i didn’t pay attention_

_Kellin: green and blue are my favorite colors :)_

_Oliver: also a good choice_

_Kellin: are you alone?_

_Oliver: why? are you gonna send me a dick pic?_

_Kellin: i wasn’t thinking that, but that’s a great idea!_

_Oliver: >:(_

_Kellin: sorry, kidding ^^;_

_Oliver: yes i’m alone._

Right after sending that message, Oliver’s phone rings. It’s Kellin, of course. He answers. “Hello?”

“Hello~” Kellin answers in a playful tone. “It’s been so long since I’ve heard your voice, I’ve missed it.”

“It’s been three days.” Oliver says.

“Three days is a long time, Oli!” Kellin says. “Now say more things!”

“Uhh, things, more, words, something.”

“Say something vulgar.”

“Cunt. Wanker. Faggot.”

“Say my name.”

“Kellin, Kellin Kellin Kellin. Kellin Quinn.”

Kellin swoons. “More~”

“Are you getting off to this?” Oliver questions.

“Would you be mad if I said yes?” Kellin chuckles nervously.

“No, but it is a bit weird. You can get off to anything I do or say I swear.”

“Is that bad?”

“Again, no just weird.”

“I just really love you.”

“I know...That’s why I’ve been struggling.” Oliver says.

“Because I love you?” Kellin asks.

“Because I'm not used to being so loved and cared about. You just keep sending me messages all day about your day and night and showing genuine interest in me while I’m used to being ignored until an ex needed me for something or just wanted sex and then fucked off until next time they wanted something.” Oliver explains. “It also still feels weird being a bloody faggot. It feels more ‘right’ but I’m just not used to it yet.”

“Should I slow down my message sending?” Kellin asks. “Also you’ve just repressed it for awhile, it’ll become more natural the longer you open up, trust me.”

“You’ve been gay a lot longer than me. You can say that easily.”

“Gayness is always there, you just have to discover yourself. Also I’m not gay, I’ve said this before.”

“Then you’re ‘partly gay’.”

“In a technical sense, yes, but terminologically I’m not one to label myself.”

“Uh huh.” Oliver says. “I’ll be right back.”

“Huh? Why? We’re in a call, you’re on a phone, you don’t have to leave me behind.” Kellin says.

“Why, do you can hear me piss?” Oliver questions.

“Doesn’t bother me.”

“Probably cause you get off to it.” Oliver scoffs. He gets up from the couch. “Whatever, I don’t care.”

“Cool. Also, why was your brother there anyway?” Kellin asks.

“Business expenses.” Oliver says. He takes his phone with him as he walks upstairs. “But more importantly, he helped me get out of my own head and actually make me respond to you.”

“That was nice of him.” Kellin says.

“He’s very forceful and weird about it, but it worked.” Oliver walks in the bathroom and closes the door. “If not for him showing up, I might still just be laying in bed not sleeping.” He pulls down his pants enough to get his cock out.

“I would be able to sleep a lot easier if I could cuddle you in bed.” Kellin says.

“I know.” Oliver tries to talk more to cover up the sound of pissing. “I probably would too, provided you don’t make me sweat too much.”

“That’s why you wear less clothes~” Kellin says. “But from a distance, I have no idea how I could help. What if I sing you to sleep?”

“Excuse me?” Oliver questions.

“Anything you want, I could sing a gentle soft song to help you fall asleep, i could go for loud screaming metal too, I can do it all. Hell I could even sing you a Sonic song to help you fall asleep, I don’t mind.” Kellin rambles. “I don’t know any but I could learn the words to one if you’d want, anything for you.”

Oliver flashes Kellin his dick for a second by turning video on his phone before putting it away and turning video back off. “I appreciate the offer, thanks, but I don’t need you to do that for me.”

“Oh. Okay.” Kellin tries to wrap his mind over Oliver’s quick tease and not get too focused on it. Are his pants feeling tighter or what? “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” Oliver says. He flushes the toilet and quickly washes his hand. “I think that would just make it harder for me to sleep.” He leaves the bathroom and walks to his bedroom.

“If you say so.” Kellin says. “What about another option?”

“Like what?” Oliver sits on his bed. “Reading me a bedtime story?”

“Well, I could.” Kellin says. “I write fanfics sometimes, I could read them to you.”

“I’m good, thanks.” Oliver shudders at the thought of just what the hell Kellin writes about.

“Well okay then, but you’re missing out.”

“I really don’t wanna know, thanks.”

“Suit yourself.” Kellin says. “What I would give to be able to stick my hands in your pants right now.”

“What?”

“What?”

“Excuse me?” Oliver questions.

“For...warmth! It’s cold there, right?” Kellin makes up.

“It’s JULY. No.”

“Oh really? I thought it was winter for you when it’s summer for me.”

“Kellin that’s AUSTRALIA.”

“Oh, right, that makes more sense.”

Oliver sighs. “You make no sense.”

“Hey, I forgot, I’m tired too, been awake for nearly twenty hours now.” Kellin says.

“Would be nice to sleep soon then.” Oliver says.

“I agree, I think it’ll be easier now that I know you’re fine~” Kellin purrs.

“Would also be easier if I got rid of my throbbing boner first.” Oliver says.

“What?” Kellin questions.

“Wanna see?”

“When would I ever say no?”

“If you ever said no I’d be concerned.” Oliver leans back in his bed and turns on video on his phone, holding it pointed to his crotch. He pulls on the waistband of his pants and frees his erection from them. Its visibly throbbing with a slight hint of a drop of precum leaking from the tip.  
“Should I reciprocate?” Kellin offers.

“Sure, though you would probably do it anyway.” Oliver says. He watches his phone screen and sees Kellin mimic him in showing himself off, just a lot wetter, somehow. The sight makes his free hand drift to his cock. “Oh would you look at that, my hand just ended up on my cock somehow.”

“It’s hard to watch and show off at the same time.” Kellin says.

“That’s fine, you can turn it off and just watch.” Oliver says.

“I could watch you all night~” Kellin says.

“I’m sure you could.” Oliver rolls his eyes. He runs his fingers down his cock and lets out a relaxed sigh. After days of being non-stop stressed out, it feels nice to be able to finally relax.

“You should finger your ass~” Kellin suggests.

“That’ll be hard to show.” Oliver remarks.

“You don’t need to show me that, just keep the video on your dick.” Kellin says.

“Yeah sure.” Oliver says. “Why not.” He pulls his pants down more and lets them fall to his feet hanging off the bed. He rubs his fingers on the tip of his dick to slick them with precum before he reaches around to rub the outside of his anus. “This would be so much better if I had an extra hand to wank me off while I do this.” He slowly pushes his finger into his anus while talking.

“If I was there, it wouldn’t just be my hand on your dick~” Kellin says.

“Cockslut.” Oliver says. He can’t say he wouldn’t enjoy a blowjob right now, but really anything sounds good at this moment. The pressure he’s putting on his prostate is turning his mind into mush, and making his cock leak more precum.

“And proud of it.” Kellin says.

“And you say you’re not gay.” Oliver says.

“I’m not, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still be a cockslut~” Kellin giggles.

“Uh huh.” Oliver exhales sharply. His cock throbs while dripping precum on himself, begging for a touch. “Nnngh, can I go back to wanking now?”

“Hmmm.” Kellin prolongs Oliver’s question just to enjoy the sight a bit longer.

Oliver whines. “Please...”

Kellin giggles. “Sure~”

“Finally.” Oliver pulls his finger out of his ass and grabs his dick, stroking it off quickly. “Fuck…” He feels no embarrassment or shame from letting himself moan from pleasure.

“Mmm~” Kellin purrs.

It doesn’t take very long before Oliver reaches climax. “Aaahhhhh, fffuck…” He isn’t prepared for his first cumshot to go as far as over his phone to his face, but the rest of the spurts more predictably land on his shirt. “Nnngh…” He breathes heavily while his cock finishes its contractions. He tries to ignore the jizz on his face, but it irritates his skin as it slowly drips down, causing him to just stop it with his hand by grabbing it and licking it off.

“That was rather impressive~” Kellin remarks. “I’ve only rarely been able to make it get that far.”

“Probably helps that I haven’t done it for a few days.” Oliver says. “Not like I TRIED to make it do that, but, yeah.”

“The sight is very much nice to see~” Kellin says. “I love you, Oli~”

“Love you too.” Oliver is grateful Kellin can only see his dick right now and not the stupid happy grin on his face. All the smiling he’s been doing since he got to his room is making his jaw hurt, likely magnified from his sore sleepless body.

“You know you can stop holding your phone up now, right?” Kellin says. “Though I also don’t mind watching your dick get soft.”

“Oh, right. Just a sec.” Oliver waits for his cock to get just a bit more flaccid so it’s just a bit easier to put away. He puts his phone down and sits up so he can pull his pants back up. He picks his phone back up and turns video off. “There.” He’s unconcerned about the jizz on his clothes, he needs to shower anyway so he’ll likely do that later.

“How are you feeling?” Kellin asks.

“A lot better, though also a lot more tired and sore.” Oliver says. “What do you usually do to help yourself sleep?”

“Umm, well, I, well, I masturbate usually.” Kellin says.

“Right, not surprised about that.” Oliver says. “So this is pretty much just about what you would have done even without me?”

“Correct, though it is also more fun together~” Kellin says.

“Yeah, sorry for being such an ass and being so bad at responding to you.”

“It’s okay, I forgive you. Maybe we could find other things to do together instead that don’t involve as much talking, maybe play some games online together?”

“That would be nice, yeah.” Oliver says with a yawn. “But right now I think I should make up for days of lost sleep.”

“Ditto, it was nice to catch up and hang out with you. Hopefully we can do this more often.”

“By ‘this’ you mean hanging out in a call and not just wanking, right?”

“Both are nice, but yes I did mean just hanging out, yes.”

“Sounds good.” Oliver lays back down in bed, this time getting under his blankets and getting comfortable. “Goodnight, Kellin.”

“Goodnight, Oli~” Kellin sighs happily.

Oliver ends the call and puts his phone under his pillow. With a deep sigh, he feels like he can finally sleep proper again, and he hopes he doesn’t get caught up in his own head again tomorrow and stress himself out. If he falls back into it again, he’ll just ask his brother for help again, hopefully with less forceful grabbing.

**Author's Note:**

> It's not weird to grab your brother's junk just to piss him off. Sometimes you need to go to extreme lengths to be helpful.


End file.
